Rules of the road when travel in Vietnam

- Obey the road rules if you can work out what they are

- Maintain direction no matter what

- Remember the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

- Expect the totally unexpected

- Do not be surprised when a 10-metre boat slung on a pole between two motor cycles crosses the expressway in front of you.

- Do not be surprised if, despite bird flu, a flock of ducks suddenly fills the entire the highway

- Do not be surprised if a laden bus (or anything else) comes at you on the wrong side of an expressway.

- Red traffic lights often seem to be only advisory

- Do not stop immediately on a red light or someone behind will run into you

- The man with the two full-size refrigerators on the back of his mortor cycle is NOT going to stop at a red light.

- Traffic roundabouts are only a slight inconvenience to traffic

- It’s quite reasonable to go the wrong way up one-way streets

- When doing something totally stupid like going the wrong way up a one-way street or into oncoming traffic, blast away on your horn

- Ride with a finger pressed almost continuously on the horn since this is easier than obeying road rules

- Just because you have four on the bike and are going the wrong way up a one-way street does not mean the police will stop you

- Lights are not used during the day because they use too much electricity

- Traffic lights can often be hidden behind trees or signs

- “No left turn” signs are usually inconspicuous and can be moved from time to time

- Just because you are turning left and on the left side of the carriageway doesn’t mean someone will not pass you on the left to go straight ahead

-Just because someone is on the left side of the carriage-way in front of you does not mean they do not intend to suddenly turn right

-Just because there is a wall of motorbikes spanning both sides of the road facing you, don’t think you are necessarily heading into a one-way street.

- Just because there is a car bearing down on you on your side of the road doesn’t mean he’s on the correct side of the road

- Crash helmets are for putting in the basket at the front of your bike

- If you are going to be hit by a car make sure it is not a government car

- Avoid any drivers wearing a green hat as they are probably motorbike taxi drivers and thus feel they are right of way

Crossing the Street in Vietnam

Crossing the street in Hanoi or Saigon or any other city in Vietnam can be an adrenaline sport: The traffic is mad, there are no discernible traffic rules and people often understand their unsaid rules. As a result, getting around Hanoi or Saigon on foot can be daunting at times. To help you cope with the traffic chaos and cross the street safely, here are a few tips that we picked up along the way:

* Don't look both ways. In fact, it's better if you don't look at all, lest you lose your nerve. It's also a mistake to focus on the oncoming traffic. If you make eye contact with other road users, you automatically forfeit the right of way.

* Don't hesitate. Waiting for a lull in traffic is hopeless, so if you want to get across, just go. And when you're in the middle of the street, don't stop: Traffic will immediately adjust to you as a stationary obstacle, and you could be stuck for a while.

* Don't run! If anything is going to get you killed in Vietnam, it's attempting to run across the street. Take it slow, walk in a straight line, keep a steady pace, and traffic will flow smoothly around you.

Crossing the street in Vietnam is anything but pedestrian. But if you approach the problem with a healthy dose of mock confidence and not a small amount of reckless abandon, you too should live to tell the story.